Start of another week

The Real Troopers

There are some things that have really struck me throughout my stay here at the hospital and even before I was admitted to the hospital about the people who surround us in our lives. I was just telling someone today that I believe that you find out who the real heroes are in times like these. Everyone keeps telling me to "hang in there" and "you're a real trooper," but I don't consider what I am doing to be all that heroic. I look at what other people are doing for my husband and children as the real heroes, especially all of those people who have a lot on their own plates to begin with!

We have had so many wonderful people just give selflessly of themselves and their time to reach out to us and give us a hand, really sacrificing at times their own comfort levels and family time. Sine I have a lot of time to reflect I cannot help but be amazed at these heroic helpers in our lives. They are giving of themselves voluntarily. They don't wait for us to call and say, "hey we could really use your help!" They call us and say, "What can we do this week for you?" Everyone is doing it in their own way too; some by just sending an email and reaching out and saying I am here for you and some by cleaning the house or watching the children so Kevin can try and get some work done. Voluntarily taking on five children is a huge deal and a huge sacrifice. I pray God blesses those who have gone out of their way consistently while the chips are down. I know God will bless them. I wonder if they know how much we truly appreciate them?

NOW...

Not much to report with what is going on with me. I am still testing negative for the fetal fibronectin tests, which is essentially telling the doctors that I won't spontaneously go into labor over the next seven days. I had one taken this morning and it was negative. I haven't dilated any more than I was when I first came in here. I am having consistent contractions some are pretty strong. but none, apparently that are changing the cervix at all. While this is great for Philomena who can remain inside me and grow strong it is another week that I am here in this bed watching the rest of the world move along. God must be trying to teach me something through this; what? I don't know.

While I sit here and watch paint dry there is plenty of drama to be had at home. It started earlier last week when John Paul started having red, itchy eyes. Not at all unusual for him because he has such bad allergies. But then he started getting all kinds of gunk in them. We were sure it was probably pink eye. Kevin has been applying warm clothes to remove the gunk and watching him to see if it got worse or better. So a couple of days pass when I get a call. Kevin thinks John Paul might have really hurt his arm playing on the trampoline. He felt like maybe it was broken. I believe we have had that trampoline for close to 6 or 7 years now. No accidents at all! I kind of always had a feeling like something was going to happen at some point with the amount of children that have been on and off that thing, I just didn't expect it to happen when I couldn't be there to comfort the one who got hurt. I told Kevin to bring him to the same hospital here where I was staying so I could go down and be with them in the ER. Anyone who knows John Paul knows he is a real optimist and he is always smiling. Same holds true for him even as he sits in my lap with a broken elbow. The only time this little guy was not smiling or happy was during the x-ray when they had him manipulate his arm into different positions. He didn't like that because it hurt. So he was casted on Sunday morning and picked out a purple cast! All his siblings have signed it. I can't wait to see him again so I can put my name to it as well.

After a few days Nicholas started showing signs of red eyes. At the same time Zachary has been complaining his one ear hurt. So Kevin took all three boys into the pediatrician this morning. We'll start with John Paul; he has pink eye in both eyes. Zachary has a double ear infection and Nicholas has pink eye in both eyes plus an ear infection. So if that's not enough, our little 7-year-old terrier, Sparky, is not doing well. He has had blood in his stool for a couple of days. We are treating him with a de-wormer in case it is worms. The other day Kevin was telling one of his bosses about all that was going on and the guy asked him if a plague of locusts had also descended on the house. I chuckled at that one.

I was privileged to have our Parish Priest come out and administer the Sacraments to me which also included Last Rites. I feel about 100% better than I did when I woke up as if now I can have the baby and everything will be okay.

THEN...

Our family was still adjusting to the birth of our fourth child Zachary in the spring of 2005. Just when the dust was settling about three months after delivering Zachary we found out we were expecting again. It most certainly was a surprise. Eventually the shock wore off and I didn't really have a lot of time to dwell on the fact that I will have two of the five children only 12 months apart. The pregnancy with Nicholas was a bit easier than with Zachary's. My thyroid was behaving and the morning sickness seemed to be not as severe either. Nicholas' due date was in April 2006, but with two of my children being born preterm we were watching this one closely. March rolled around and we were anticipating the celebration of Zachary's first birthday. I remember having his little party after dinner and feeling off. Most pregnant women will tell you in retrospect that they just didn't feel "right" before going into labor. I chalked it up to the party and being 8 months pregnant. The very next day the exact same scenario played out that had played one year and one day ago. I felt some regular tightening of the belly you get with Braxton Hicks, but I just felt like I needed to go to the hospital. Kevin happened to be home and wanted to call his mother to watch the children, but I just felt like I shouldn't wait the 45 minutes for her to come to the house. So I drove myself, much to my husband's dismay. When I arrived I was examined and already 3-4 cm dilated. They readied the surgery room and my OB asked me if I wanted to wait for my husband to arrive. I told her I did want to wait now that I was there and being monitored. So after about an hour or so he arrived and they wheeled me into the OR. The C-section seemed to go okay. Nicholas was born at 5 pounds and 12 ounces. I knew he would probably be another NICU baby being born four weeks premature, but we were really hoping he would be strong enough to avoid intensive care, but after having some respiratory issues he was eventually placed in the NICU.

Kevin followed Nicholas off to the nursery and my OB finished up the section. As I was laying in recovery one of the nurses was joking about how all she could see was my OB shaking her head the entire time she was closing me up. I asked her why and she said, "I think out of frustration." I knew I would be getting a not-so-stellar report when she came in to see me. After I got back to the room my OB came in and sat down and looked me in the eye and said, "well that was a close call." I had what is called a dehiscence in the uterine wall which basically means when my OB cut through the skin and muscle and got to the uterus she could see straight through to the baby and that my uterine wall was already separating. Had I not made it to the hospital when I did or had I waited a few more hours laboring I would have ruptured and Nicholas or myself might not even be here. She says she sewed everything up nice and tight but advised that further pregnancies would not be wise. She followed that up with, "but I can't tell you what to do." I asked her to talk to me straight off the record and she said, "If you were my sister I would tell you never, ever get pregnant again." This was quite a bit to digest. While I wasn't of the mindset that I wanted 10 kids, we do have our beliefs which condone artificial birth control. We do our best and had permission and "grave enough reason" to practice Natural Family Planning, but I wasn't sure how well we could accomplish this task. I read up on it quite a bit after Nicholas was born.

We were both released about 6 days later. He did very well his first year. Like his siblings we knew he probably had a milk/soy intolerance and went straight to the same prescription formula that Zachary had been on. His first year was really very much a blur, but medically speaking he did very well.

I still have these moments of clarity (or is it insanity?) when I have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that I have five children three of which for a year, were still in diapers. We have people ask us all the time, "Are they all yours?" While that question always leaves me puzzled as to what would lead a person to ask this question, I understand better now what a scene it must be to see a family out with five children scurrying about. It must be bizarre looking to the majority of the population who are quite comfortable with one, two or three children.

We live according to the laws given to us through the Holy Catholic Church and have faith that the way we are trying to live - is what is being asked of us by God. We know that saying "no" to artificial birth control" is the right thing because our faith tells us it is the right thing, yet we are still being responsible by doing what we need to do to protect my life and the life of a p0tential unborn baby. We trust that God knows what is best and if Natural Family Planning fails, then God must have a reason for it; God must want this particular soul here amongst us. We are the vehicle and God is the driver - the driver of a 15 passenger maxi-van nonetheless!