Experts say that moving is in the top five most stressful events a person can experience in life, alongside death in the family, divorce etc... In my lifetime I can claim 24 moves, including this current move to Massachusetts. Yes, I moved 24 times; no I was not a military kid either. Perhaps it's the product of a mother, who felt she should school hop her four kids throughout their educational years. I was in six schools in 13 years. Moving does not seem as monumental to me as it does, say perhaps a person who has never moved or moved only once or twice in their life...someone, say like my husband - the poor soul. I have always been very fearless and independent and the prospect of a new locale seems, well, very pioneer-like to me. Out of 24 moves, only two stand out as being highly stressful to me. One was the time my sister and I left North Carolina, broke - literally with about 15 dollars to our name, traveling north to Delaware to move into a cellar-basement apartment with our older brother. We coasted into Delaware on fumes and spent our last two dollars on the last toll into Delaware. We had no money and little food for a long, long time. I can recall going to the gas station and asking for .75 cents in gas (the 75 cents we stole from my brother's change machine he had in his room) so that we could go to the store and buy Raman Noodle Soup at .25 cents (which we also stole) per package just to have food to eat. Not a pleasant year to remember. The other time was when we left my hometown, the town in which all my happy memories reside - the town I was born and raised in - the town where my husband and I bought our first home, to move to a more "rural" location. We had picked a four acre mini-farmette. We figured it would be better for the children to have a lot of land versus growing up on a 50x150 foot lot. I will NEVER forget our first night in that house. The previous owners left it disgustingly dirty - right down to the hair in the drain in the tub. Yes, it was gross. After a long day of moving furniture and putting the kids to bed, I walked out to the driveway and cried for a good 45 minutes, filled with complete regret at our decision. But I did make the best of what had been handed to me and the children did, indeed, love the huge property. But, we quickly outgrew our small three bedroom rancher and I became completely burned out with homeschooling, at the time, five children. The "house" never felt to me like a home. This is not to say that wonderful memories were not fostered in that house. We moved in with three children and left with six! We had the opportunity to "farm" raising chickens (dumbest creatures on the face of the earth, but comical to watch!), horses and the like.
This most recent move to Massachusetts, for me at least as I cannot speak for my very patient husband, was seamless. Yes, it stunk for about a month with boxes piled high and the whole moving day itself, but coming up here to Massachusetts was basically very smooth. The kids adjusted very well. No nightmares. No complaints. No homesickness. Now, mind you, I had been doing a perpetual novena to St. Anne (my Patron) and St. Philomena for several years to follow God's will for us. While I desperately tried to force moving to Maine as God's will, well it just wasn't meant to be.
And I must add, it was time. Time to fly - time to go. I had prayed a prayer for detachment to person, place and thing so that I could have the courage to leave all that I knew and loved like my Parish, my family and friends, my familiar way of life. God answered that request, sometimes in a very harsh manner, but nonetheless, He answered and the courage to leave came without hesitation.
Today I was in Target and me and the children picked up several school supplies such as back-packs and notebooks etc... There is a certain thrill in the prospect that the children will be properly taught by the good nuns and brothers. I do still believe that mothers are capable of homeschooling their children, especially when no other option is available to them, but in my heart I truly believe it isn't the best option. Now I know many who read this - some, if not many, are homeschooling mothers themselves might raise an eyebrow or two - but truly I do not think we, as mothers and wives cannot fully fulfill our vocation in the home when we are trying to school five, six, seven children as well as do laundry, cook meals, clean house etc...and I firmly believe in the good of children being under the influence of good and holy nuns, brothers and priests in a school setting. I think of St. John Bosco. This is the conclusion that I have been led to; it may not be God's will for everyone else, especially those who have NO other option.
It's funny how we change and grow over time. Ten years ago you would have never heard me say the above words...never (!). But time has a way of changing us as our life is ever growing and ever moving in other directions. When your children are small you think you can conquer the world, but life takes on different challenges when you suddenly have teenagers and children with learning impairments. You have to stop and rethink, "What am I capable of?" Surely, those who do not agree with my line of thinking will immediately respond with, "God will give you ALL the graces you need to homeschool!!" I know this because it has been said to me a dozen or more times. Yes, I believe God is capable of anything for He is GOD, but is it HIS will for a mother to continue in an exhausted state, working from home to bring in income, homeschool many children on different levels, tend to the home, tend to the yard, raise babies and do a million loads of laundry? I don't know. For me it was clear. I was NOT doing the best I could do for my children and we DID have other options and we went for it. We went for it and trusted God would hold us up and so far...He has in many magnificent ways. We have nothing to fear and I meet too many homeschooling moms who homeschool out of fear - fear of what is "out there" and out of creating a protective "bubble" to raise up Saints. I recall many Saints in the history of the Church who actually went to school! Gasp.
At any rate, we continue to strive forward, trust in our Good Lord to lead us and uphold us on this new journey. I know He will else He wouldn't have led us to this place.
